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Setting Your Sexy AF Goals That You Can't Wait To Show Up For [Podcast ep 53]

Jan 18, 2021

Setting goals can be uncomfortable, but in this episode, I’ll show you how to make setting goals sexy AF and exciting. You’ll learn how to set reasonable and achievable goals, the four tips in creating “sexy” goals, and why your energy behind your goals changes everything.

  • Why you need goals to grow your business
  • The importance of celebrating the small achievements
  • We break down the “S,” “E,” “X,” and “Y” of your “sexy” goals
  • The mindset you should have when you don’t reach a goal

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Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the elevated entrepreneur podcast. And in true January fashion, I'm going to keep talking about goals today.

But today we're going to talk a little bit differently about goals. I'm going to give you my insight on what a goal really is and a real big perspective shift for probably most of you who feel like when you're setting a goal that it's like the last fucking thing you want to do on the face of the earth.

Right?

We get to the end of a year, we get to the beginning of a new year or whatever, you know, the cycle we are in. We get to the end of that cycle. And we're like, Oh, what am I going to do for the next, you know, 30 days, 90 days, six months, a year, 10 years, five years, whatever it is, right.

We're always looking to grow. So growing is uncomfortable, right? And when we set a goal, it can be uncomfortable to set the goal. One, because all these, you know, feelings come up or beliefs, or, you know, all of the stories we tell ourselves, come up when we set a goal. So instead of thinking of a goal as something you one, have to do two, something that feels so out of reach that you're like, I don't even want to write this down or think about it because I have no freaking clue how I'm even going to get there. Or three that you're just, you know, you set the goal, like kind of like that new year's resolution to go to the gym every day. It's not feasible. Right? The goal is so ridiculously big that it's just kind of soul-crushing, just looking at it. Right. So what happens when we do that like we just say, forget it, forget it. I'm not even gonna try. Right. So instead today, we're going to talk about how to create those sexy ass fuck goals that you can't wait to show up for. Doesn't that sound way better than a soul-crushing goal.

Right. So we're going to talk about that a little bit. And for me to talk about that, I want to give you a little bit of my background. I know that you've, you know, if you've been listening, you've heard this before, but if you're new, then you haven't heard it before. So I'm going to tell it again. So I come from a corporate background. I was in corporate for 20 years. And you know, I never really felt like I fit in because I never really felt like I could be myself, which is exactly why I do what I do now because I decided that my business was going to be fun. It was going to be impactful. And that would be a blast to encourage and empower women to step out of what society expected of us and just go full bore for what we really wanted unapologetically. Right. That is a goal. It is a goal that I decided that this is what I want my business to look like. Right. I mean, there are going to be a whole bunch of other goals based on, you know, productivity and revenue and all of that. Yeah, absolutely. But a goal is something that you decide to do. This is what I'm going to do, and this is why I'm going to do it. And this is gonna feel uncomfortable but exciting at the same time.

So what is my definition of a goal? This is what changed goal setting for me forever. So please listen up. I know that talking about goals is not everyone's favorite thing. It wasn't mine either. Now I get excited about it. So what is a goal for me? A goal is an indicator of the game that I'm going to play or create. It's kind of like the last piece of the pie and trivial pursuit. How am I going to get the last pie? Am I going to answer the question correctly? I might be dating myself there with trivial pursuit, but that's okay. I don't have any idea what else I can relate that to right now, but so it's like if you're trying to fill a program, launching a new product or a service, or you're creating a promotion, right. Or you're just trying to figure out how much money you're going to, you want to make this year, what do you, you know, what's your desire or, you know, whatever it is, you can look at any goal this way, your goals just identify the level at which you need to show up.

So if you're playing a smaller, fun game, like, I don't know, in the next 30 days, I'm going to create a hundred new conversations with people. You know people that I have not had a conversation with before you make it fun, right? Or are you going to go pro like, you know, you're going to hit 250K or more in the next 12 months? Those are two very different goals. And you're going to show up very differently for both of them, right? So either way, your goals don't have to be big and they don't have to be better than anybody else. They just have to be yours. This is your game and you get to choose. So if you want to play a bigger game, you set a bigger goal and it helps you determine what you need to do or how you need to show up to play the game. Right. So imagine, does anyone play board games anymore? I'm not sure, but imagine sitting down and playing a board game, right.

And you know, that's the game that you're going to play and your goal is at the end, and you're going to like roll the dice. And you're going to see how many spots you move, or you're going to, you know, add a piece to the pie or answer the questions or change your strategy or do the things. But it's a game. And if you don't hit the goal, it doesn't really matter. Right. That is what I want. The biggest thing I want you to take out of this, if you don't hit the goal, it really doesn't matter. Okay. So that means that the goal and the goal that you're setting doesn't need to be scary. It doesn't-- it just needs to be there. It needs to be something that you desire and an achievement that you'd like to reach. But it doesn't mean anything about you personally, right?

It means nothing about you. The goal is words that you put down on paper in your calendar, on a document, Google document, whatever, that's all it is. That's all they are. It means zero things about you. And if you don't hit the goal, it doesn't matter. What matters is, did you step up? Did you do what you said you were going to do? Did you play all out? This is where we get stuck. We are so attached to the outcome that we forget to celebrate what we did achieve because I bet you that a few things happened on our way to that goal. Whether you reached it or not, you learned something, you stepped into an up level, the version of yourself, and you showed up in a way that you haven't ever shown up before. You grew from the moment you wrote that goal to the moment that you either achieve that goal, or the time came where you said I'm going to achieve this goal in 90 days, but a whole bunch of shit that happened in between those.

And we don't go back and look at that. We don't go back and look at all the awesome stuff that happened, whether we feel awesome at that moment or not. Because if we reached the goal, we're like, hell yes, we reached the goal. If we didn't reach the goal, a lot of times we go, I didn't reach the goal. I didn't reach the goal, whatever it is. Right. And then automatically our brain says that it means something about us. And it doesn't go back and look at where you were in the beginning and where you are now, and look at the growth because no matter what you are always, always going to be further along than when you started this goal. Right? Always. If you think about it like this, before you even have that goal, the goal wasn't even a thought, right. Then the thought came and you're like, Ooh, that sounds like a good goal. Let's set that goal right in five minutes after you set that goal, the second, actually the second you set that goal, you're a different person because now you have a new intention, a different perspective, and a new goal.

So no matter what happens, you're going to learn a ton of shit about yourself, about how to navigate the road, the path to get to where you want to go. It is just a learning journey. That is what a goal sets for you. It sets you on a journey. So how do we set a sexy goal? Like we all, you know, want to make money in our business. We all want to impact the world. We want to impact people. We want to help our audience. We want to create results for our clients. So instead of you know, thinking about your goal as just a goal, what if you were like, I'm going to sit down and write my sexy goals today. Right? But does that sound way better? So when you're thinking about setting your sexy goal, those other three, four, the four letters that I want you to think about S E X Y right.

Simple. It should be very clear your goal, even if it sounds like so super like dulled down dumb that, you know, you're like, okay, it needs to be simple, simple, meaning clear, right? It needs to be executable something that you are going to take action on. You have to take action to get to a goal. So, but executable means a couple of things. It means that you need to be able to take action towards your goal. It means that you are willing and able to show up for this goal. That's important. This is why we think about our goals. If you didn't listen to the last episode, listen to that one. Where I talk about the four steps for setting yourself up for success. We do talk about goals and stuff in there. So go listen to that. If you haven't, because we do talk, we're talking about energy and all of those things. So knowing yourself, knowing what, how far you are willing to push yourself. And that doesn't mean to burn out. And it doesn't mean to overwhelm and it doesn't mean to quit, right? It means where am I willing to really show up for this goal?

The letter X is exciting. I know a little cheesy, but that's okay. Exciting. You need to be excited by this goal. Talked a little bit about this in the last episode too. Fear and excitement have the same feeling in your body. It is not a feeling. It is the story. The story you are attaching to that feeling compared to-- not even compared to concerning the situation that is in front of you causing that feeling.

So your goals are always going to feel a little uncomfortable because it's something new and it's stretching you and it's going to feel expansive and it should, but instead of being scared by it or feeling fearful by it, get excited by it. Get excited by it, by what, what I was just talking about before. Right. Get excited by it by saying, what game am I going to play? How am I going to show up for this? Like excitedly, not, how am I going to show up for this? And it's the energy you're putting behind words, the energy you put behind the words, changes everything.

And then the Y actually stands for the word why. Why do you want this goal? So super important to understand what this goal is going to bring into your life. Why on a subconscious level, do you want this goal? And it's okay to be like, I want this goal so that I can prove myself. I can do it. Right. That's okay. It doesn't matter what your why is, but you need to know what your why is so that when you are in that day where you're like, I don't want to show up today. This sucks. I'm tired. I feel overwhelmed. And, and then you take that 10, 15 minutes to regather yourself. And my cat is deciding to jump all over everything right now, which is why you're hearing crashing in the background. And he's going to talk to us a little bit too, but anyway, this why you have to know why--why this goal is important to you.

It's so super important. So let's go back to simple executable, exciting, and sexy goals that you can't wait to show up for. And remember guys, goals are not something that, you know, we need to be afraid of. It's something that we should have fun with because it's a journey. It's a journey from where you are now to reaching what you want. I hope this helped. Please send me a DM. What do you want me to go deeper into? What did you love? I'm grateful for all, for all of you. And I hope all these episodes are helping you until the next time. See you later.

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