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Unlearn it all! - Shifting from an old paradigm into a portal of possibility with James Wedmore [Podcast Ep 71]

May 17, 2021

I’m very excited to have James Wedmore in this episode. In this episode, James and I chat about pivoting and evolving internally, the difference between having an employee mindset vs. an entrepreneur mindset and why you need to break away from feeling that you’re not deserving or not worthy to get what you want.

  • Why we need to unlearn what we think the criteria is for what we deserve
  • The portal of possibility and the reaction you should have when you see someone who has what you want
  • The fake stories we tell ourselves that holds us back from reaching our potential
  • The importance of personal growth so that you can make better decisions for your business

For 10 years, James Wedmore taught entrepreneurs and online business owners how to leverage the power of online video and YouTube marketing to reach more people, share their message and convert more customers.  In 2016, James made a massive shift to focus on a big gap missing in the marketplace: the mindset needed for entrepreneurship. He launched a totally woo-woo podcast, the Mind Your Business Podcast and his signature program, Business By Design. Today he helps coaches, experts, content creators, and authors not only to craft better marketing messages but also how to ditch the “hustle” mentality and create success from the inside out.

Connect with James Wedmore

Website: www.JamesWedmore.com

Podcast: www.MindYourBusinessPodcast.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/jameswedmore

Facebook: www.Facebook.com/jameswedmore2

YouTube: www.youtube.com/jameswedmore

Let’s Connect: https://www.instagram.com/the_elevated_entrepreneur/

 

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Welcome to the elevated entrepreneurial podcast. I'm Janessa McKenzie, an intuitive business and mindset coach to inspired success, driven solopreneurs like you who are ready to show up like a bad-ass boss and create the impact and income they desire. It's my mission to help me see who you were created to be. So you can share your gifts with the world and make a difference. My approach to business is not what most people call mama. Thank God because being weird and unapologetic about it is my jam on this podcast, or mix the blue with the do to help you create the space energetics and strategy to attract the clients and cash you really want, but unapologetically showing up as who you are.

So you can design the business and life you desire from the inside out. So if you're ready to save peace to settling, hiding half-ass and dimming your light, and yes, to having the abundant, profitable business and life of your dreams without living on the edge of exhaustion and overwhelm, listen up as I hit the BS button on the extremely outdated perception that you need to hustle to be something you're not so much for being here today.

Now let's do this.

Welcome back to the elevated entrepreneur podcast. This week I talked to James Wedmore. James has an amazing course called business by design, but that is totally not his whole story. He is an amazing perspective, shifter. He is the first person that actually bended my mind. Um, and that is why I was totally hooked. And now listen to his podcast, the mind, your business podcast every week. And I'm so excited to have him on the show this week.

So let me give you a little introduction because the episode actually just kind of goes right into us just talking. So I wanted to give you a little bit of a, uh, intro here so that you understood who the heck James was when he starts talking. Right? So for 10 years, James taught entrepreneurs and online business owners, how to leverage the power of online video and YouTube marketing to reach more people, share their message and convert more customers.

And then in 2016, James made a massive shift to focus on a big gap missing in the marketplace. The mindset needed for entrepreneurship. Now that sounds familiar. If you are a listener of this podcast, he launched a totally Wu podcast, the mind, your business podcast, and a signature program business by design. And today he helps coaches, experts, content, creators, and authors, not only craft, better marketing messages, but also how to ditch the hustle mentality and create success from the inside out.

So as you can see, James and I are totally aligned and I'm really excited for you to listen to this episode. So let's just get started. So, yeah. Awesome. So just chat about unlearning. Um, totally. Yeah. Like I said before, it's, for me, it was definitely, you know, pushing that door open and being like I'm going to be an entrepreneur and then being like, Ugh, what,

Like how long, like how long ago?

Um, so I started about five years ago as a photographer, um, and have completely pivoted am now a sounds like exactly the same thing. Yeah. Um, yeah.

Moon chars. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Yeah, exactly the same. Um, and, and now spiritual business and life coach. So, um, yeah, I mean talk about pivoting and it's all from internal evolving, you know, like evolving from me and then being, um, okay. Was sharing all of that stuff with everyone else.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm very fortunate that I had a few things going for me growing up. I was very stubborn to begin with August such a pain in the butt. So stubborn, stubborn is, is something that isn't good or bad, right? Because you can be stubborn about your dreams. You can be stubborn about your values, what you believe in stubborn about that, right? And then you can kind of be stubborn in your ego. So, um, it's a healthy, stubborn, unhealthy.

So I was very stubborn, both healthy and unhealthy growing up. And I was very like ambitiously entrepreneurial aimed from the get-go. And so, um, I started learning stuff and doing stuff and practicing entrepreneurship from a very early age. My first business that really took off was in high school, 15 years old short version of the stories I had a 1969 red cherry red Honda trail, 70 mini bike, amazing bike.

You can go Google. These are so awesome. So awesome. I had it. I was doing stupid stuff like doing a wheelie on it and I lacked the fender Chrome fender bent the whole thing up ruined here's this 40 year old bike or at the time it was 30 years old. Um, just destroyed. And there was a little site on the internet. This is 1998 called ebay.com. I'd never heard of V-Day and there's a guy selling the exact fender that I need for a hundred bucks.

And two thoughts crossed my mind. The first is like, Ooh, there's my fender. And then the second thing was like a hundred dollars. The bike itself, I paid 300. So a third of the bottom. I mean, this is a motorcycle for kids right there. It's a dirt bike, $300 with a bike. And one third of the cost that I've paid for the bike just to get a fender.

And that's when the light bulb went off and I proceeded to go into the garage and take apart every single part in that bike. And I posted on eBay and sold all the parks parts for over $2,000. Yeah. And fast forward, like a year later. And I'm, uh, I'm by my dad's driving me around in mom's minivan and we're picking up these motorcycles and I'm just this dumb kid. Like, I don't know, I'm going to try to learn to ride the bike. And then I'm like, and I'm selling them on eBay the next week and raking in thousands of dollars as a 15, 16 year old kid. And, uh, and I get called into my college or my high school counselor because I wasn't taking career day.

This is now fast forward two years later, 17 years old. And I didn't take career day, uh, uh, seriously, because they put us in a room with all these file boxes, literal, literal boxes, and metaphorical put you and your life in a box and pick which career is best exemplifies you.

And I thought it was such a joke. There's a reason I'm telling you these stories. Um, hopefully by sometime today, we'll get to that reason. Um, and I couldn't take it seriously a 17 year old kid. And, um, I picked crane operator and ambulance driver. He calls me into the para and I was a jerk. I was stubborn. I was not, you know, as nice of a person to see him today. And he starts to like get me in trouble in front of my parents, but he's not taking his future seriously.

And which I proceeded to tell him, I make between two to $4,000 a week, which I already know is more than you make. So what right. Do you have to give me career advice when I'm already making more money than you and I have to go to school all day? A dad did not sit well with him, but I share this because we did do a lot of learning and growing up. And a lot of the learning comes from people that are older than us, bigger than us, that we tend to think no better. Um, and, uh, and we just adopted. It's true. And we just decide a lot of what I do in the work I do is around beliefs. Abraham Hicks described the word belief as a thought, you continue to think. And I think it's the opposite.

I think a belief is a thought that you no longer think is to really think paint, to really think about something, take some power, but to just decide it and then, you know, sorted away as this is the way. And that's how beliefs we experienced beliefs in our life. This is the way it is. This is the way the world is. This is the way I am. This is who I am. And then we just decided we no longer think about it anymore. It just is. It's like, it's like a brick. It's now cemented and it's cured. And that's just, that's just how it is. And these bricks behind me is like the bricks of your life that we build. And so many of us go through life from that, like a medulla charged survival safety need. I just need to understand me and the world and mitigate threats.

And then I will at least know that I'm safe and I'm okay. And, um, you get into a world of entrepreneurship and it is a different world. And we come with these. This is what everyone has been telling me is the way the world is, is a solidified thing. And, um, and it's a completely different world. It is a completely different paradigm and it absolutely positively requires so much on learning.

And I could go on hours and give you examples of this. But a lot of the learning that we did is as we grew up, we were, we, we grew up in a different time than what is the time that exists now. Even my dad, who's in his, in his mid eighties pole. So he's born in 1939. He came out of the great depression. His parents, immigrants went through the degree of depression, struggled like you wouldn't believe. And he was born out of that. Where like, when I was a kid, he'd get mad because I'd left the, a light switch on when I went to the bathroom in the next room. Yeah.

My aunt. And he'd yell at me, turn off those. Why? You know, he was mad. He was

Angry and he's a loving father. So is wasn't at all off at night. Yeah, because you're asleep.

You don't need heat. We live in new England. Yeah. In the winter that he was off at night, you'd have to all my God.

No. Yeah. And it was a different time. My dad said I've seen, and this was in like the 2002 through 2010. He said, these fat past few years, I've seen more change and faster change than any time I've been alive. So we grow up, I love this word, domestication. And we are domesticated because we are in these formative years sponges. And we're building our bricks about how, the way the world is.

My dad used to say things, you know, like, you know, the money doesn't grow on trees. It's a metaphor. Obviously it literally doesn't, unless you're, unless you're a tree farmer and you're selling on the trees or something, I dunno, um, that, uh, um, he would always say this line, like life is tough and then you die. And his version of the world was that it's a tough, dangerous, scary world out there.

And I watched my dad almost work himself to death. I mean, he's, he's had to retire of health and he, that's the only thing stopping him from working. And, um, so very different paradigm, you know, that he, he grew up in and worked in. So we have the domestication of our care, primary caregivers of the childhood environment, culture and society that we grew up in. And you and I both did not grow up with the internet. I grew up with the internet came when I was 13 years old. So I was like the internet kid, you know? Um, what's that

I was a little older, just

A little, you were like 14 or 15 and there's just like layers different. Oh my gosh. Yeah. When you're 13 and 15 year old is like, wow, what's an adult. Like, you know?

Um, and, uh,

So that's when I got the internet. So, but most of us here, um, didn't grow up with that. So the game has changed completely. And then on top of that, you've also, um, and you know, this gets a little controversial. I don't really even care. Um, if people will tend to get a little triggered and upset when I say this, but my experience of, I went to both public school and private school. Um, my experience of school growing up was I was taught how to be an employee.

So I think school teaches us how to, um, follow directions, raise your hand, wait for permission. Do what you're told. Listen to the bell, stay in line, you know, be like everybody else. Um, and then that's fine. And I, there's nothing wrong with being an employee. What's wrong is taking the rules of the game of being an employee and applying that to business. That's like spending your whole life learning football, and then going out and playing golf and wondering why you suck at it.

And then on top of that, the predominant experience we have in our life has been on the consumer side, especially before in America. We're a very consumer-based nation. We buy stuff all with it's bad. I just bought this little thing. You can't really see it. Gosh, it's this little it's called a gooseneck for your iPhone and it connects to your table. But our 30 bucks, I got hooked on it on, on Amazon or

Yeah, you just like, we love buying stuff. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, right. It's like, let's go to Walmart. Let's go to Amazon. Let's go eat. We have, now we don't just have black Friday. We have cyber Monday because one day of spending all our money wasn't enough. So we got to have two. And then of course it becomes a whole, right? Yeah. Wait, I was just, I was just in line at Walmart at 6:00 AM.

Now I need to go online at Amazon at 6:00 AM. You know? And I don't participate in those things. I don't really get them. I'm just out of the loop, but we spend the majority of our life on the consumer side of things. And um, and so I believe we learn how to be a good little hardworking consuming employee, nothing wrong with that. There's no judgment of that.

And being an entrepreneur and being a business owner is the antithesis to that. Yeah. And it is about unlearning, flipping yourself on your head completely. Yeah. Would you like an example? Sure. Yes, I would. I would love to give an example so that I'm not just talking and talking hot air here. The difference between value and value distribution work, effort compensation from an employee to a successful entrepreneur is a grand Canyon difference.

The amount of people that have that employee mindset that says, I worked this many hours, or I worked this hard, therefore I deserve, or that doesn't tell me, tell me what to do. Yeah. That has no room in the world of an entrepreneur. When you are an entrepreneur, you don't get to just say I worked longer. Therefore I deserve more. I get more. I should make more.

I look, I have a whole thing on deserving. We all deserve inherently. We learn to not be deserving. How about that? So we need to unlearn what we think are the rules of what the criteria for deserving. You look at a new, beautiful newborn baby, which is an enlightened, you know, perfection of God source right there. That's why, when people stare into my good buddy, Ryan say, I'm going to give a shout out to him. He's the guy.

We do our, all our videos with. So maybe you've seen a lot of the work that we do. And he just, he just had his first born daughter and he said it, I mean, he just said, he goes like, I feel like I have, God was staring back at me and God is so when you're born, there you are. You're perfect. And as a mother or a father or any human being, looking into that, the eyes of source, you don't look at that newborn and say, I hope you start working pretty soon so that you can be deserving of. Thanks.

No, you automatically say you deserve everything, right? Like I want you to have

It's the world. You deserve it all. So when did we decide that we weren't worthy or deserving of what we desire? We, we learned that and we'll have to learn that. So you're deserving of everything inherently that you want. There's this it's just, it doesn't, it doesn't even play a role in my life anymore. It's an irrelevant word actually, to me, in fact, I, you know what I hate, I hate when people and I, I don't like really hate, but you know, like, why do you say this? When, like, if I were to like post on Facebook today and say, I'm going on vacation, I've taken a trip. And what, uh, what is a very common thing that people say good for you? You deserve it. Yeah.

Or, Oh, must be nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's that, that's a whole nother thing.

Two types of people, which I'll talk about that. But it's two types of people. There's the type of person that sees. I always like to make a joke. I always like to make fun of myself. There's two types of people to do it as others. There's the type of person that thinks there's two types of people and then there's everybody else. But when we Coby on that joke, there's two types of people.

There's the type of person that when you see someone that has what you want, you do one of two things you either say, thank you. That's proof for me of what's possible or proof that it's not possible for me. We either make it a good thing or a bad thing. Yeah. And that's a very important thing that you must, must, must get in the habit every time you see somebody else that has what you want, that's living how you want to live.

That's experiencing what you wanna experience. It has the results that you want. We must train our brain. Absolutely. This is important. You must train your brains to say, thank you for this evidence of what is possible. That means it's coming from me next. We must see it as, this is what is possible for me.

Otherwise, if you say she has what I want, but now I can't. Cause she does that. Which with a B Majeski. Nice for a yeah. Well whipped ETL. And now we have resentment. You are literally pushing away, which you want. You are pushing it away because you're saying I can't have it too.

Yep. I tell my clients all the time, be the portal of possibility.

Yeah. There was a great law of attraction book. I read, I love that. The portal of possibility. You have to tell me, let's go get that domain portal of possibility. That is the coolest phrase, pop, pop, the portal. Possibility. Be the pop.

Welcome to the portal of possibility hour with James and Janessa.

This is the vortex of viability in the portal of possibility. I love that's my marketer brain turned on so we can go. We can go any direction you want to go. But I'm like, that's, there's something there. Um, so this will air after you register that domain.

Yes. I know. I'm like, Oh, I never think of that. Yeah. That's what I'm here for.

Um, I got you. I got you. Okay. So, so there's that. Um, so you deserve this. It's inherent, of course you deserve it deserving according to who you really think God or source or higher power is sitting there saying you deserve, but you don't, Oh, it's this, this man-made woman made, you know, human-made construct. And I don't like it. I don't play there. So whatever you want, whatever you want to create, the deserving is out of theirs. It's not part of the conversation.

But what people do is they, they operate from a deficit, an illusion of deficit. I'm not worthy. I'm not enough. I'm not deserving. And then the same token, they've decided that there's a strategy to become enough worthy in deciding. So here is a journal prompt for you. If I believe that I'm not enough, not worthy and not the serving, what have I already decided is the strategy for becoming enough worthy and deserving?

What is the strategy that I've decided is the way to compensate? That's what we do. We decide something that isn't true about ourselves. And then we spend the rest of our life trying to hide something that doesn't need to be hid because it's not real. It's a Mirage from the world. And we develop a 3d doing strategy.

Well, if I work harder, if I show people how hard I'm working and how much I'm struggling, maybe if I sacrifice my health a little bit more, maybe if I sacrifice my relationships, maybe if I complain more, they'll see. Wow. She really does deserve it. Yeah. It, it was never in question and people look, people are gonna say what they're going to say. Oh, she doesn't deserve all that success. She barely works for it. That's their own stuff. That's nothing to do with, you know, big hurdles to get over.

Oh, it's really is like the universal human condition. So like you think, Oh, you think you're alone because you don't think you're enough. You think you're the only person on the planet. We all do. We all do. Yeah. That's where I started. And that's where I stayed for a very long time. But I love this. I love this story. I think it's a fake story. I don't know if it's real.

It's the story of like the factory and something's broken in the factory and some guy comes and um, and he comes in fixes, what's wrong with the factory. And he comes to the foreman of the factory in like 20 minutes. And uh, and he goes, I found the problem. And, uh, um, he goes, there was a switch that was offered and you got to do this little thing and connect this thing. And then he goes, that'll be $10,000, $10,000.

That was 20 minutes. You're telling me I paid you 20 $10,000 for 20 minutes. And he says some beautiful line. He goes, um, he goes, I forgot what it was. He was like, no, you paid me $10,000 for the 10 years. It took me to master the ability to find a problem in 20 minutes. Yeah.

And that's the difference between an entrepreneur thinking and an employee thinking is entrepreneurs know the value is in what it solves and creates for another human, where the aunt, the employee is focused on how much time did it take? How much effort did it take? How hard did I work? That's you centric. And that's you thinking it's more valuable because you work longer harder, but the entrepreneur goes, my value in terms of compensation, law of compensation is the proportion of compensation. You get to the value you deliver.

And then we could go into ancient wisdom and talk about, I need an ancient law of reciprocity, which is with everything we do, there needs to be an exchange of energy, right? And so the entrepreneur is looking at the value is inherent in the problem and solves them for home, how it helps better their life.

And when I got my start, I was teaching YouTube. That's how I got started. Years ago, I had built a million dollar business selling a $97 online course teaching YouTube. And I have two different, I have two extremes of people here, right? Taught the same topic to two people. One was Carol, who was a mommy blogger. Now mommy bloggers. Don't like to be called mommy bloggers. So I'm not trying to offend anybody or anything, but she had a blog on the side. You wanted to make like a couple of hundred bucks a month with like ads and stuff like that.

And she wanted to start using YouTube. She's a young mom, obviously huge time effort, energy commitment. So here's a little things she wants to do on the side. That's beautiful. And then there's Carl Dickler Carl Dickler is the CEO and founder of beach body. At the time, each party has a $500 million a year company, P90X and PIO and all those types of things. Yeah. I had some of those, right. You see the infomercials he's calling me. He goes, James, I want to learn YouTube. What it really was is he has 120,000 affiliates that promote beach body. And he wanted to train all 120,000 of them to use an optimize YouTube, to get the word out about our products.

Now, what entrepreneurs see is you have two different people on teaching the same thing, how to use YouTube, but notice the cataclysmic difference in value. As I teach YouTube to the mommy blogger, Carol versus Carl, and we have to understand that aspect of it. What is the value that I'm creating? And it has nothing to do with your time, effort and energy.

In fact, I could teach both Carl and Carol in the same amount of time. Yeah. But be paid. I could teach them together, but be paid, compensated massive differences with Carl versus Carol. So there's a lot, there's a lot in our thinking that needs to change our unlearning. Um, when we step into entrepreneurship. Wow. Going from being the student to the teacher, going from being the consumer to the marketer, going from being the employee to entrepreneur.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember the day when I realized that I was no longer an employee, I think I danced around my living room and I was like, I don't have an employee mindset anymore. I was literally like, Oh my God. It was just like this epiphany in my head. That was just like, wait a minute. I don't have to sit at my desk for eight hours anymore. I don't have to do the things that I was doing in the corporate world anymore. Yes. And it was just, you know, mind blowing.

But I remember one of the first podcasts episodes that I listened to from mind, your business podcast was it was something about, I don't remember what number it was or what the title was, but it was something about, um, creating your own reality. And I will never forget where I was felt when I listened to that episode, James, I was waiting.

Were you at me? No,

My, my brain was melting out of my ears. Literally. Literally I tell people all the time, you, you know, if you, um, uh, pro uh, you'd have probably have to listen to a lot of episodes on my podcast, but I have said multiple times, James is the first person that ever been in my brain.

And you did a great job. You do a great job, but I was sitting at a Dunkin donuts, um, coffee shop waiting for, um, um, I was going to meet somebody for coffee and I was listening to this podcast and I was just like, uh, what is happening right now? Like, I felt like the whole world just turned on its head.

And, um, I was like, uh, I, and I left the old world that I lived in for so long by the whole new world, like opened up. I was like, what just happened? This is amazing. Uh, and that really catapulted my own, you know, journey too into mindset and into bigger self development than what I was already into. Um, but realizing that you, we are creating every day and that, you know, I remember the first time I think I heard you say what you see in front of you right now is like your own creation. You created what you are seeing right now. And I was like, no, sir. It's like, no, no way. That's, you know,

Don't create this stupid line at Dunkin donuts.

I didn't create the person. That's 10 minutes late meeting me right now. Um, but yeah, I was just like, Oh my God. Um, and it took me a little bit to really grasp that and really understand it and be like, Oh, okay. Um, if everything right now is a, like my movie, that's what, that's how I look at it. Now. It's like, I I'm watching my own movie and everyone else is watching their own movies.

And my movie isn't going to be the same as theirs. And they're not going to see me through my own lens. It's it? You do have to wrap your brain around it a little bit to like, really think about that. But then it comes back to what we were just talking about. Our parents, our teachers are authority figures in our lives, all have their own lens. They all have their own movie playing in front of them. And they're only sharing what they think is true for them.

So when you think about it that way, then you're going, okay. So everything that I thought was true, I learned, but now can actually make a choice as to whether or not I believe those things are true for me. And then that opens the possibility for you to actually figure out who you are, who you really are without all of this conditioning that happens.

And, and, and let me just throw that in there. You have no idea who you are, right? Everyone listening, you think, you know who you are, but who you are is who you've settled on, deciding who you are and I'm waking up more. Would you say in the past year, you, I say you, you've learned more about who you are, what you're capable of, then you did, then you, you know, now more than, than a year ago,

Absolutely. Every day.

So what a beautiful, you know, like I think it's, um, Play-Doh or one of those philosophers of like the whole, like, I know nothing, um, mentality, and it's like, let's start there with like, what if you didn't know who you are and not in a bad way, not in a, I'm so confused, but in a, in a enveloping opening of curiosity. And, um, it was a beautiful place to live, but it takes a lot of courage, a lot of courage to do all of this, because those bricks, I mean, it's such a perfect metaphor because anybody who ever sees this as, as visually, if they see the video, there's a brick wall behind me to what we do is we really set those bricks and stone. And then in certain circles, they call it the critical faculty and the critical fat, critical faculty is the guard at the door to your mind.

That basically when someone like me, because I tend to be a contrarian, like I want to cha I mean, when, when Janessa has seen him bending her brain, like that's, my goal is I want to challenge the old paradigm that we grew up in and domesticated ourselves. And I can't actually do that because there is a critical faculty at the door of your mind. So only you can do that.

And that critical faculty is that guard. That's looking at all the bricks and it looks like I'm going to say something, you know, I'm going to like offer something like you create your own reality. Right? And so what you've already done listening to this is you've taken that brick in your hand, this belief, this statement, this perspective. And then you've like, uh, put it up against all the other bricks that what you've stopped thinking about and just decided.

And if it, if it threatens those bricks, what do we do? We throw it out. Yeah. If it, if it doesn't fit the model of the world that you've built, what do you do? You reject it. People will go so far as to do this on such an unconscious level. They will reject. They will delete. They will, they will distort it. It's a little bit, it doesn't fit that they don't even consciously know they're doing it. And I've had people say things like, I don't remember him saying that. Yes. Because your mind erased it from you because it didn't fit.

So it takes a lot of courage because I've had people that have experiences of like midlife crisis, because it almost feels as if it really is like a shamonic death. It's a, it's an ego death. Um, it feels like the floor has fallen beneath you, because everything you thought was real, everything you thought was true.

Isn't and, um, that's a beautiful process. Like I'm always, you know, don't believe everything you think I'm always questioning my own belief system. I'm always getting as much awareness and presence. It's like, wait, is that true? How do I know that that's true. And a lot of people operate from things that aren't truth as truth. That's just the way it is James. Uh, that's how it always is. That's the way we've always done it.

And, um, Oh, like here's so here's the meatloaf story of you. Are you, are you familiar with the meatloaf metaphor? No. Okay. The meatloaf metaphor. I don't know if this is true or not. Let's just pretend it is like it actually happened, but it's a great metaphor because we've all had something like this before. So mother is, mom is young. Mom is preparing the family meatloaf and before she puts it in the oven, she cuts the ends off of the meatloaf and young daughter.

Who's in that quizzes phase who asked the number one question that every kid asks, why do we want to continue asking that question? Why she goes, mom, why are you cutting the ends off the meatloaf?

And the mom wants to have an answer, you know, like, Oh, maybe it locks in the juices or the flavors come in or the heat and heat faster or something like that. But she really doesn't actually know. She's just been doing it for so long. And that's just the way she's always done it. But her sister, her older sister might know. So she calls her older sister. I'm going to get the bridge version here. Cause you'll get the pattern of what's going on. And the sister doesn't know either why don't we cut off the ends? And then she's like, I don't know.

That's just the way mom always did it. So what do they do? They call them all. So now I'm working up to grandma, mom, why'd we cut up. And she goes, because that's the way your mother, my mother did it. So they call grandma. Okay, well, we're getting pretty old here. We've got this lineage of flank.

Yeah. The ancestors have done it.

And then her great, great grandmother. So anyways, we get to grandma and they go, why do we cut the ends off the meatloaf? W w and they all have their own theories, right? It's to lock in the flavor it's to heat it faster. It's, you know, it's, it's some, what's what makes it taste better than any other meat, low fat out there. And grandma goes, Oh, no, it was, cause my oven was too small to fit the meatloaf.

That's awesome. And that's what happens. Like I did it to make it work. Right.

Today's yeah. Today's ovens are twice. The size size is not a problem with the oven, but we're still cutting. The meat loves salt. Yeah. There's another example of this. Do you know where the size of, um, uh, NASA rockets come from? Like how they decided on that, on that? Now this is really interesting, true stories.

This is the truth story. I don't know what the meatloaf is true, but it's a great metaphor. I'm sure something happened like that. I'm sure we've all had an example of like, why does mom do it this way? And you realize it's like, for some completely irrelevant reason. Okay. So it's kind of obvious. The reason the shuttles that go out into space are the size that they are is because they have to fit on a train track because they build them in one place and then they train them to Cape Canaveral or whatever the launchpad is.

That makes sense. Right. But did you know what causes, what caused or determined train tracks to be the width that they are now? It all started with the width of the Roman carriages back in ancient Rome. So today's technology of a rocket ship is determined in size by what ancient Romans were doing however many thousands of years ago, um, not questioned, right.

And these are interesting things to ponder because we live in a very different society today with very many different options and opportunities and technologies and, you know, and, and even it's so, so funny with like the past year of like virtual living and quarantining and stuff, all your friends and family, like have you heard of the sync called zoom? It's like what

I'm seeing for

Years and the technology and the opportunities that, that exist to us that didn't exist when we were growing up. When we learned a lot about the way the world is and the way the economy is and the way businesses and the way work is and the way success is and all that type of stuff.

And I, what I've been trying to get at is I'm just very grateful that, that I was so stubborn and such a contrarion growing up, that I was challenging it back then. It's time. We all challenge it now, because there are so many opportunities that are right in front of us that could not have been even possible when we were growing up, because there's things like the internet did not exist. In fact, I remember telling this story, uh, recently, um, I I've just recalled it where I used to really beat myself up because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.

And I was like in my, uh, like high school years and early college years. And I was like, everyone else has figured it out. They want me to talk. They want what you're learning around these paths. And I said, I don't understand this because I feel like this like, meant for something, but I don't know what to do. And then it hit me years later. Cause I built this whole business.

I was the YouTube guy, seven-figure business, teaching YouTube, all that stuff, like I said, and I looked back and in a moment I realized, I actually remember where I was when I had that. Like apifany, I was so hard on myself for not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. And here I was doing what I wanted to do with my life. But what I wanted to do, hadn't been invented yet.

YouTube was not around when I was in high school and college. And here I was doing that and creating that there was no online video back in 1996, 1997. And like, it's just so you know what I mean? It's such a crazy different timeline. Things are going so fast opportunities are everywhere and times are accelerating. And how much of us are still operating from so much of that, that older paradigm. So yeah,

We never would have expected us ourselves to be here with all of the technology that we have now when we were, you know, 10, eight. Exactly. You know, like the first time your first grade teacher said to you, what do you want to be when you grow up? It was like doctor fireman and you know, something like that, something that you looked up to or thought that you could make a lot of money at. Right? Absolutely. It was even at that age, you feel like you have to have one of these jobs or a job in order to make money.

Yeah. So, you know,

Even in first grade we're going, Oh, what kind of job do I have to have in order to survive it in this world?

Right. And like, even today, I haven't shared this too much, but you might know, they talk about on my podcast a little bit. Like I started in another business in the past year, in quarantine life, Airbnb business. So I bought, um, I've four properties, three of which are on Airbnb and we've created a 600 and $600,000 a year, uh, stream of revenue. That's bookings, total bookings in a year from something that didn't exist. I don't know how long the Airbnb is around, been around 10 years or something like that. Yep. Holy cow. Right.

And like, so I want to give the most what I think as we talk about like avoid stepping in the role of entrepreneurship is, is such about personal growth. Your business is a reflection of you. What that means is as you grow, your business will grow because who's making the decisions for your business.

Yeah. You are, you are right where those decisions coming from, how are you making those decisions? Are you making them from fear, right? Are you making them like the consumer mindset, the employee mindset, the student mindset or the leader leadership mindset, the entrepreneurial mindset, the abundance mindset, the marketer mindset, the successful entrepreneurial mindset.

So there's really the most simple. It's almost too simple that people just don't value it. Unfortunately, because people want an all complex, but it really is the most simple formula for success.

Now, what is success? The simple definition of success is doing what you said. You were going to do that's success. But you get to decide at any time what it is you want to do. Like I want to start a podcast and reach a million people. That's what you said you would do. And you will have success in that when you do it.

A lot of people want to talk about money in sales and results, but not talk about the other pieces of it. And we want to take a holistic, I'm kind of going on a tangent for a moment, but I want a holistic viewpoint a perspective. You know, you can make a million dollars robbing banks.

Why don't you just do that? Oh, because you don't want to do anything illegal. Okay. Right. So you want to make a million dollars legally, morally, ethically. And maybe you want to do it taking the weekends off or, you know, not sacrificing your health of your sanity or time from family. Right.

So success is doing what you said you would do when you answer the question, which most people can answer. What do you want? A powerful question. And most people can't answer it or what do they answer it with?

I don't, I don't know. Yeah. It's funny. Cause that's the, that's the title of the very first podcast episode I released. What do you want?

Oh, I thought it was, I don't know.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. I know that. Welcome to episode one.

I don't know. Hey, I started a podcast. What's it about? I don't know. That's changed

You. I mean, I've had this podcast for, um, a year, a little over a year now and you know, it's evolved and grown as I have. So I think the biggest thing to take away, especially for those listeners that might be feeling like I'm supposed to do it this way or I, you know, I'm doing something not right or bad because I'm not thinking this way or not feeling this way or not doing that way.

No, it's okay. It's okay to not to be right where you are right now. It's okay. Because once you realize where you are and recognize that, then you can take the next step to go and grow and do the next thing.

Yeah. The shame, the beating yourselves up like that doesn't do anything. No, just gonna make it worse. Yeah. That's like that whole thing of like where what's the metaphor it's like slapping yourself in the face. Just so you can stop to say that it feels good or just not slap yourself in the face all day. Cause we were really hard on ourselves. Yeah.

It is a process. I think, I think life is about like, I think the perfect metaphor of life is, is you're in a dark room and you're, you're just discovering. So you're going to bump into the walls. You're going to take some wrong turns. You're going to trip over some things. And little by little, you gain the clarity, but people don't do that. They kind of stay in a corner and they say, okay, I know this little area and I'm just going to stop here.

Or they take the courage to venture out beyond what they know. And they hit their first. They stub their toe for the first time or they hit a wall for the first time and they beat themselves up. What was I thinking you idiot. I was like stumbling through the, yeah, go back to my corner. Right. Yeah. And, um, but what did you expect? You're stumbling in the dark and there's a quote I read recently that that was really powerful and says if you're a lot of entrepreneurs was like, the biggest thing is like, I'm just not clear on what to do. I'm not clear on my plan, my path. I can't see what I'm supposed to do.

And I read a quote recently and I was like, wow, that was really powerful perspective. Cause it's all just about perspective is he said if, if your, if your path is clear and ahead of you and chances are, it's not your path that someone else's.

Whoa. Think about that one for a second. Yeah. What entrepreneurs are our creators we're bridge builders. We are visionaries. So is it clear because someone just gave you the perfect plan and you're just living their business, living their life, or are you making it clear every day by having the courage to get up every day and stumble little bit more in the dark and access a little bit more light and take one foot in front of the other.

I've said this for years and people love when I say this, I thought it was so simple that I was like, really? But it is it's because it's true. Right. But I say most people are waiting for clarity before they take action. Yeah. It's the opposite. The more action you take, the more clarity you'll have action causes, clarity. It's like Indiana Jones and the last crusade at the end of the movie, when he takes that first step onto that invisible bridge, you have to have faith.

You know what I'm talking about with seeing, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. Yeah. You're like no, never seen them. Indiana Hill the face to step out into the unknown. It's easy to not, it's easy to wait for permission. It's easy to wait for someone to tell you what to do. It's easy to not do it at all. It's easy to procrastinate. It's easy to get overwhelmed. And um, that's the easy way out. It's scary. It is scary, you know, and uh, all that.

So going back to these two things, it's also scary to answer the question. What do I want? And I don't know are the three worst words that you can ever have in your vocabulary because first of all, it's not true. You always know what you want now. Aw, I don't right now. If I asked you, okay, tell me what you don't want.

Well, tell me what you're sick of. Tell me what you've been complaining about. Tell me what you just want to vent off. That you're just sick and tired of and people bang, bang, bang. Yeah. People are like how much time you got right. And you give me an hour of your time, write it all down and give me the opposite. I'm sick of being in debt. Okay. So you want to be debt free. I'm sick of people telling me what to do. Okay. So you want sovereignty. You want freedom. You want autonomy. You want, you want them to be in control of your life. You want to be leader. I'm sick of not being able to pay my bills. Okay. So you want more money?

We're so focused on condition. That part of the brain's always looking for threats and problems that that's, that we just get hooked by that. 

But then by saying we want it's, you know, well now I feel greedy or it's I'm it's shameful. You know? Like then we go into all of that. Like I think the reason why we've been, you know, trained to not say what we want is because we feel like we've been shamed for saying what we want.

Yeah. Oh, that's really sad. I don't have that problem. I am. So I mean, I am, because here's why I had a quote come to me. I felt like a download years ago and it's the quote that's driven my life. It really has. And it, it just came to me one day. It said, um, inspire others through your actions. And I realized that that's what I'm here to do. I just want to be proof of what's possible for someone else. I want to show you, let me be the example of what's possible and to be the pop, the portal of possibility.

Absolutely. I love it. I love it. And um, and so here's my simple, I'm gonna, I'm being cheeky here, but here's my simple secret to success. This is the formula for success really, as though I'm being cheeky, but it's true. It's all comes down to two words, letting go unlearning is letting it go.

So when you're, you're clear on what you want, we have to acknowledge that this thing that you want is something you don't have. That's why you want it. And the reason you don't have it is because you haven't been it. Why do you want to call it a vibrational match? Whatever you want to call that the be you have your actions, your thoughts, your thinking has your, your feeling hasn't aligned with that. So something else has been, uh, showing up in place of that. And that's what we need to let go learning and growing and your growth.

When I realized all growth is a letting go process. Is it actually getting back to who you were when you were that newborn baby of perfection? Maybe, maybe all of life is unlearning. Everything we've learned since we were like two years old or even younger. And with the more we're shedding that unlearning that and letting go, we're stepping more into our infinite potential. And I really do believe our potential is limitless. And um, cause I just keep finding, I just keep looking for the boundary. I keep looking for the border.

Where is that? Oh, that's all I'm capable of. There. Isn't one. You, you, this is I get, there's a façade that it is like, Oh, that stretch. And then that becomes the new norm. And then you stretch again and it just keeps going. Right? So letting go, is that to me, is that is the formula always. So it's what do I want?

And then if I had that thing right now, if that thing was just naturally mine, whether it's the business or the clients or the following or whatever it is, what had to let go, what did I have to give up? What did I have to let go of to make this possible? And there's always something there. And so that struggle that we often face that resistance, resistance becomes a big word for people.

Like there's just so much resistance around this resistance to me is the battle between your heart and your head resistance is your unwillingness to let go of what no longer serves you. And so usually what we're holding onto is in our head when our heart is telling us, go here and then our head goes, but what about this? Like your heart goes you're, you're meant to go do your own thing.

And then your head goes, but you're not worthy of this. Who are you to do this? You're not qualified. What will they say? What will they think? So it's a head versus the heart. And we tend to instill selling. We tend to believe more and pay attention to more of what goes on in our head and ignore heart.

But I've never heard anyone say, you know, I listened to my heart and that was the biggest mistake I ever made. I should have never trusted my gut and my intuition. Why did I follow my heart? And no one ever gave their success, acceptance speech and said, here's the secret to success. Stay in your head and overthink like and you'll be successful too. Right? Just stay in your head, overthink everything, worry it to death. And then you too can be successful. So we know we inherently know when you tune in, you know, that the answers in your heart and the license, your head, but we didn't learn that either.

We didn't learn. I didn't learn today. My business is very intuition. Intuition led. We grow by leaps and bounds. We'll get to the end of a quarter, the end of the year. And we'll be like, wow. So grateful and humble. We didn't really make any big mistakes. I'm really grateful with every decision that we made and it's all intuition based, but I didn't learn intuition in school. I learned critical thinking in school.

So that's when you need to unlearn decision fatigue is a real thing. And we're using our, our thinking power to make all these decisions. And we're ignoring, denying that the intuitive mind, the heart, the gut, that collective unconscious, that, that, that divine mind if we're going not for just our thinking brain. And, um, I didn't learn that growing up. I didn't, I just, I didn't learn intuition growing up. So that's something we need to replace and unlearn this notion that all the answers are just in your brains sitting there.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we could, God, I could talk about that too. Your thoughts and where they come from and yeah.

Oh goodness. I, so I just, like, I had this thought the other night and it was like in meditation and it was like a movie that was playing in my mind and it wasn't a memory and it wasn't something I intentionally called to envision. So then I started going, where did this movie come from? Where did this thought in my mind come from? How did it get here? And that really sent me on it really trippy. Like that thought was,

That was in that coffee. What was in that tea? What did I eat today?

But it was just like this random, it was, uh, it was just like this person, like running down the street in a weird way. And I was like, Whoa, where's this coming from? You know? And I only bring that up because it really sent me on my own journey and inquiry into like how many thoughts are having power over me. Cause I just decided they're mine and they're true. And they're real. Yeah.

You know, and I, I just had a doctor, Dr. Ayman, if you're familiar with him, he wrote the book, change your brain, change your life on the podcast. And just from the neurological, like neuroscience brain, uh, brain-based science side of things, like he talks about, um, thoughts can come from our DNA from our ancestors and they've proven this now. Right. Epigenetics and stuff. So like, if you had, I don't know, like, I guess what I'm hearing from him saying that is like mother or father was always in stress. The world is bad. And what was it? Even dah, like you can be getting those thoughts just because of the passing that DNA on.

Do you see your, you have thoughts in your mind cause it's like a frequency and it's an energy that's in your DNA. That's not even from you. And then we just believe that. Yeah. I would say that that's true. And then that's the way the world is. And that's how I am. There's a lot of unlearning.

Yes. A lot of them learning. I've definitely. And even your own thoughts, like I'm learning your own thoughts because yeah. I've had to do a lot of that. Myself. Is this mine, is this true? Yeah. Um, yeah. I being, you know, an empath or a reflector and human design, I'm a reflector.

So every single one of my, you know, whatever they call them, um, sections for lack of a better word. No, like the big, they're not, they're not the Gates are the small ones, but like the S the big settles of possibility. Portals of possibility. Yes. They're all wide open. I have no, no colored sections in, um, human design. So I have no set way to, um, take in information undefined or undefined. Yes. Um, undefined everywhere. So, uh, when I got my human design chart read, well, I actually, I asked somebody first because that's like a whole other rabbit hole. Right.

You can go down with human design and I love it. And it's amazing. Um, but when I first asked, what the heck is this? Like, why do I not have any colored things? Like, why am I not defined? And I'm like, is this normal? And it actually, it's not, it's like 1% of the population is our reflective.

You're the 1% I am the one Brian, I'm like the unicorn. Wow. Yeah. I think you're the first person I've ever met. That's in that. Cause I remember people talking about that. It's like, Oh yeah. There's like this super rare one. And that's the reflector.

I'm like the rare Pokemon or something.

Wow. That's so cool. I finally got it.

So it's um, they exist. I ha they exist. I am proof. I am the portal of possibility.

I am the portal. I love it.

So I'm often asking myself, is this mine? Is this not mine? Is this my thought? Is it not my thought? And why am I thinking this thought, is this true? Is this not true? So yeah. I probably sound like a crazy person right now, but really we should all be asking ourselves these calls.

I think you'd be crazy not to do these things. Yeah, honestly. So here's my little secret. And I dunno if this works for you, but this is what I've been doing for a long time. I started caring about how I feel, even Dr. Raymond from a brain brain-based standpoint as, um, my shaman says this, you are where your attention is. He says the thoughts that you put your attention on and get an attached to by and large determine how you feel.

So we need to begin caring about how we feel. And I'd like to offer a hack. That's kind of out there, but I've tried this and use this over the years with myself and with clients. And it's unbelievable when you're in this unlearning process, there'll be a part of you like the ego, which is like the 3d part of you. It really needs to go like, but what is true and what is real?

And that can be really hard, you know, like, wait a second. I thought this and you know, and rejecting things and questioning things and other things are threatening. Other things. They're not going to be really hard. I believe how you feel will always to tell you what is true and what is a lie. And so when you're trying on a song or a perspective, like here's an example.

When I think about selling, when you think about selling, how does that make you feel icky and gross? Well, just generally as a collective, right? Like, um, you know, gross or scared or blah, blah, blah, blah. And so you'd say, okay, is that a positive emotion you're feeling or a negative emotion. So people say, Oh, that's, those are negative. Okay, great.

So what is the specific thought that you have when I, when I get you to think about selling that would have you feel that negative emotion people would maybe something like, um, that it's sleazy selling is sleazy.

Okay. Why is it sleazy? Because it's greedy and it's, you're taking money from people. Okay. And how do you feel when you say that? I feel that negative emotion. So the, the theory here is it goes, and I, I, I live by this is that the fact that it's a negative emotion when you put your attention on that means it's not true. That's why it feels negative.

Oh. And another way to do it is in your higher self God source the universe. That's not the perspective of your higher self. And that's why it feels negative. And it feels negative because you're moving yourself further away from source. So does notice and get present. Everything's about awareness. Everything begins with awareness. I put my attention on this and I feel like crap, is there a lie? I'm telling myself here, ah, here's the statement selling this sleazy ingredient.

Okay. So the fact that it feels negative or discomforting emotion or lower frequency emotion means it's a lie. If that's the lie, what's the truth. And it's always the opposite, right? And if I offered that, we've all had an experience where we bought something and it was a great experience. And maybe it got us, maybe we bought a fitness diet program or hired a life coach or, or join a course. And we like learned something or solve the problem.

We've all had annex experience of buying something and having a really great experience, buying it and maybe getting a problem solved. And so what if your audience has had that same experience buying something from you? What if selling wasn't greeting and sleazy? What if selling was a service? What if to sell was to be of service? How does that feel if you tried that on for most people that doesn't feel crappy, I kind of feels good.

Like that would be really nice to see it that way. It does feel good. Just trying that on. Of course, you've got that critical faculty. That's trying to reject it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have to reject it because we already, we've already decided we've already cemented this brick into your model of the world. That selling is bad, evil, greedy, sleazy, only used car salespeople do that. So how could it be a surface?

So the resistance is a threat of the old versus the new, but if you just tried this new on and go, it feels really good and it must be true. So what I'm constantly doing is paying attention to how I feel and letting my feel my emotional state be the barometer for how much truth I'm living into versus how much illusion I'm living into. What is the perspective of God source a higher, higher self?

What, what, whatever fits for you and is that the perspective that God source the universe has or not? And I let that the, my barometer and my guide as I sift and sort, cause there is, there's a part of you that wants to know what is true and like, you know, and that's how I do it. I don't know if that, if that made sense in the,

It made total sense. Yeah. I mean, it's intuition, right? It's, it's, that's, that's a deep dive or deeper dive than, you know, 99% of the people on the face of the planet. Even understand that they even have an intuition or what it is. Yeah. You know? Um, and yes, I remember you brought up sales.

So little story. I remember hearing that, you know, same thing five years ago when I don't know if it was you or somebody else said, um, selling his service, actually it wasn't you, it was somebody else. I don't remember who it was, but, and they said that and I was like, yeah,

Yeah, no reject it. That doesn't, that doesn't fit my model. Yeah.

And I, a lot of the thoughts and beliefs that I have now and have incorporated now, I remember probably subconsciously thinking at that point, I am never going to not believe this.

Mm. And now I don't know.

So it's just proof that, you know, you can change your thoughts.

Powerful. That's a powerful moment though. I had the same thing happened in a completely different, and I went to a leadership conference thing when I was in college and in the middle of conferences or like keynote speaker and he gets up there and he goes, look under your desk or your, um, not your desk, your chair. And when you tried three juggling balls and he said, I'm gonna teach you guys how to juggle right now. And he tried to teach us all to juggle like 600 kids, how to juggle. And like 20 minutes, 30 minutes, I couldn't do it. And I got home and I was with a buddy and I was like, yeah, he was trying to teach. And I, um, try to do it again. And I just said, you know, I think I'm just not going to learn to juggle. That's just going to be something I don't do.

And I just decided I'm going to juggle. I know this is such a simple thing, but it's the little things that can be really profound because they, we, they, they, they, you know, it's like they become metaphorical for the rest of your life.

Four years later after graduating college, I am a bartender. I don't, all of a sudden I have this idea of like, I'm going to be the best bartender. I am going to be the best bartender and the way to become the best bartenders. You got to start learning like bar tricks, bar magic. And so I bought a course on how to do like Tom cruise, cocktail style bottle flipping. And what's the first thing he says, you have to learn how to juggle. And you were like. Yeah. But I've already decided I'm not going to juggle. And that's just not for me. And I just can't do it. I don't do the hand-eye coordination, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, and he just starts there. And he's like, you know, chances are, you've never struggled before. And I went and taught you. It's actually a lot easier. It's just, it's just a muscle memory thing. And I'm going to show you how to do it. And it's just a practice. It's just a tempo. It's just a cake.

And sure enough, an hour later I was juggling and the powerful moment was when I said, I will never decide something like that ever again in my life, I will never set that boundary. Yeah. There's always whether, you know, that like these clichés in our life that are clichés, because they're so true where if there's a will, there's a way where there's a will means there's that power, your will power is in play. Then there is a way.

And, uh we're so just so convinced, it's not going to work. It's not going to happen or it's not possible. Or I don't have what it takes. And it's like, well, when you're right, you were right. And I just, I learned that I was like 24, 25 years old. I'm like, I will never say that again. I will never do anything like that. Again, like you can't do that, sir. This isn't for you or not, not in this life. And, uh, yeah. So I let go of that belief when you let go, you let in and not only do you let in, you let in so much more every time.

Yeah. And you know, when you say to yourself, I'm not good enough, or I don't, I don't know enough. I'm not worthy. I don't deserve this. You're right, right. Yeah. You're right. Because you've already decided that you're not. So just like what you said, you know, when you're right. You're right. Like,

Right. Cause that's how powerful you are. Exactly. Exactly. You just created your, that is what you created. And that's the proof. If you feel not enough, remember that the only reason and way that you feel not enough is because a younger version of you decided that, or you just that's it right now. Right. And that's the evidence of how powerful you are that you create that that's amazing.

We need to start there. It's like, we just need to start with that energy. It's like, I am powerful. I do decide to make decisions and create. And therefore this is who I experienced myself to be. And if I've created that and people go into like fault and blame, it's like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Like let's not create fault and blame. Let's let's just create what we want. Now. We created that now, what now? What do we create?

Yeah. And life becomes really fun when you're looking at, from the lens of being a creator, an artist, an author, what are what's w you open up the book? What are we writing today? And your story? You're the main character. You're also the protagonist, but that might be another episode, but you're creating you're the reader too, by the way. You're that, you're the audience here are the protagonist and you're the antagonist.

And you're probably all the little ancillary characters to you. Probably the setting. You're probably the backdrop. You're the theme. And that's the beautiful thing is it's, you're all of it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Make it a good story.

Absolutely. Yes. I just answered a post today on Facebook. Actually, somebody said, what makes you want to get up in the morning? Like, and when the whole world expects you, um, to not be a business woman, I'm like, Whoa, that's, that's a heavy question right there. Like, and the whole world, right. I could have gotten really deep into that post James.

But all I said was, um, the fact that I got to get up today and yeah. That the, the sheer excitement of what I'm going to create. And I don't, I could, like I said, could have gotten really deep into that question. You know, that answer on that one. But I, because that really is the main reason we're here. We are here to create. So what, here's the thing? What are you going to create?

If, if it was all easy in unicorns and daisies and stuff, it'd be so boring that it's, it's scary because it's, it's real, it's raw, it's exposing, it's threatening to the ego. So it's going to take something of you. It's going to take that courage and that can be scary. So what better way to not do those scary things and to blame the world? How much of that is the world saying I can't do the things I want to do. We actually think that it is how much of it is us giving our power to that and calling it the world, the world doesn't want me yeah. Every

Time something else you're just giving it

That power and it gets us off the hook. Yeah. You're using, we use them as the S we use them as a scapegoat. You see, I couldn't do it. It's not because of me. Yeah. It's not because of me that couldn't do it. It's it's. They wouldn't let me, or they would give away. They made me do it. Yeah. They made me feel this way. Right.

Ask my kids about how I feel about that. Oh, see, that's beautiful. Because like, when you and I grew up, we didn't have all these distinctions. And so now we get to pass them on to our little kiddos and they're just going to be so much more amazing than we are. And that's a beautiful, that's a beautiful thing, you know, to take that type of responsibility and people that's, that's like a really triggering word for people.

These days, responsibility is, is this is nothing about blame or fault or shame. Responsibility is about reclaiming personal power, reminding yourself that you might be the protagonist of the story, but then remembering that you're also the author. And if you don't like what's been written today, turn the page and change the story. Yeah. It's time to write something new. And that always starts with you. But if you're waiting for everyone else to change before you can write a new page of the story, you're denying your personal power, you're giving it in a way and that's fine.

Book is going to stay stuck, dog eared in the corner.

Yeah. And I think, you know, what does it, any of this have to do with entrepreneurship is everything. Cause like you have to do this in entrepreneurship. You're you are, you are the ultimate creator as an entrepreneur because you're looking at a blank canvas possibility in that portal and you're creating, so yeah.

Yeah. Trust allow release. Those are the three words I always tell everyone trust, allow release.

Yeah. So the three things, fear attach, hold on. Yeah. That's right. Exactly. That's what we're doing. Fear attach. Hold on. Yeah.

I, um, I was just revisiting your first a hundred leads workshop right before we came on. Um, I'd love for you to tell everyone about that.

Sure. Yeah. So what I do and who we help today is any entrepreneur that wants to be selling any type of digital products, online course membership, group, coaching one-on-one classmates, and, um, really how to build an actual business around that. And what I love to tell people is that your business needs a little TLC tender, loving care. Yes. But also traffic leads customers.

And there's a lot of people that are really bummed out that they don't have the customers and the clients that they want. But at the same time, they're not doing anything to get leads. And today you have a lot of people focusing on social media about how to get popular, how to build an audience and how to reach more people. And this is not the same as getting a lead. A lead is a person that is already actually interested in wanting to work with you.

They're really close to the sale. And that's big. You can have a bunch of people that follow you on social media that will never, ever, ever want to buy from you. Oh, I just follow her. Cause she's funny. Yeah. Okay. Well what, what are we trying to do here? Get people to like, like you or build a business.

And so what we did is we put together an online course as 14, 16 videos, something like that. Uh, and it teaches you how to actually our process for how to actually get leads, leads that actually want to buy stuff from you. And we called it your first 100 leads. We've had people that have already had big audiences, big lists take the program. And we hope people are just starting out, but you can't have customers without leads. That's a very important thing. You cannot. It is impossible.

It's like saying, I want to marry someone without having someone know me first. Can't do it without meeting them without meeting them. Now I understand there's the concept of arrangement marriages, but I want to fall in love without meeting someone. How about that? You can't do that. You need to, you need to have someone meet you first, get to know you first, go on dates. So it's a progression. It's the natural chronological sequential order of things. It has to be a lead before there's a customer.

So this is a course powerful people have said, I'm better than the nine 97 courses that they've purchased out there. And here's the best part. It's not 900, $197. It's not even $97. It's not even $9. And 77 cents is absolutely free. It's completely free. We wanted to put this out here because it's this big hurdle for people is they keep saying, well, I don't have an audience. I don't have a list. I don't have a big enough list and you don't need many to get going. And so we want to help you with that.

And, uh, and you've walked, walked through those videos, do what we tell you to do in there. And it's going to help you to attract people that actually want to buy from you your first 100 leads.

So I took, uh, I watched that when I first bought business by design and which is James's course by the way, um, and put it into action. And it was like, yeah, 30 days a hundred new leads imagined works. Boom. It works. Um, and you just like rinse and repeat, just keep rinsing and repeating. Exactly.

And I also want to say that you get way more than just training on how to get your first a hundred leads. I'm not gonna spoil it. I'm not gonna give any, you know, little fun tips if you want it. There's a link in the show notes to that, a workshop that you can sign up for with James. And, uh, it's amazing. So, James, thank you so much for taking time to come on and talk to me today. Uh, this was an amazing conversation, but can you tell everyone where they can find you on as you like to say, the interwebs?

Yeah. You don't mind. I think my favorite place that I'd love to hanging out with you is on our podcast. Um, so I host a podcast as well. It's called mind your business podcast. It's a little overwhelming, but there's like 470 episodes at this point.

And I've listened to all of them.

All of them are different till I don't sink. I don't think I've ever well we've, we've like re you know, re aired episodes like this is, this is, we're bringing an old one back, but I've never recorded myself. All right, we're going to do the same topic again. Cause we ran out of ideas. Um, so it's always something new, which is crazy to have 470 topics. Um, it's called the mind, your business podcast. It's on that.

All the places that you listen to podcasts. And what I really love to dive deep into is anything in the internal intangible, inner world of what it takes to be an entrepreneur. I realized that the doing, I think Tony Robinson did something like this. Like the doing is like the 10, 10% the mechanics, the strategy, and 10% you said the psychology is like 90% psychology. There's one word to use, you know, the psychology, the spiritual, the mental, the interpersonal it's. So it's so much bigger.

And I just keep saying like, wow, the more I grow internally, the more I let go of what no longer serves me. The more I keep letting in, the more I keep growing. And it's a lot of episodes on my insights and strategies and training on how to do that here.

Yep. It's where my brain first melted people. So

It's the podcast for brain melting pot. We just put a little thing at the top. Caution warning, warning Fahrenheit. What's what's the melting temperature of

9,800 Fahrenheit.

Yeah, there we go. I'm trying to be clever, clever, but I think we recharge our cleverness potential with portal of possibility. And we're just going to leave that there.

Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I love your coaching with coffee too. So join James I'll post Fridays on Instagram.

So I'm so I, I choose to just do it when I feel like it most Fridays, Friday mornings, when he feels like it, it's basically loose structuring. I do an episode on the podcast every Monday, but like the Friday is like, when he feels like it we'll get around to it.

That's okay. Nothing wrong with that. You're the boss, right?

That's why we call it business by design. Who's designing. It is this as mine. Every Friday. I want to get up and do no, I don't. And I don't want to, I don't want phone it in either, so I'm not feeling it. I don't do it. So like I had a busy Friday. I had like other stuff throughout the whole day schedule.

And I was like, I don't want to put that much. Like I only do a certain amount of things in a day, like schedules. I don't do anything before 11 won't do that. So I have that morning routine and that that's sacred time in the first half of the day. And there's only about like two or three things. I can, I let my team put on the calendar per day. It's by my own design. Yeah. You know, that's the point. We have to be intentional with that. So, um, something to think about. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. Well again, James, thank you so much. And um, I will be listening to your podcast and everyone here that is listening to us right now, please screenshot this episode and put it on your stories. Tag us, ask us questions, tell us your ahas. Uh, we want to hear from you. So unless you hated it, of course they didn't hate it. Keep it to yourself. If you hated it, we want to hear it too. Right? You want to hear that? You're dead to me.

There's something wrong with you. If you hated it, you know, they probably, if they hated it, they're probably still not listening. So

Hated it. Then their brain is starting to melt right now. And they're there

Normal to be mad at us and like curses because we're challenging some of those things that's that's okay. Let us know. We, we triggered you a little bit that I like to hear. Heck yeah, you really me off today. Good. It's working.

I'm doing my job. I'm doing my job. I love it. All right, everyone. Thank you so much. And we'll see you in the next episode.

Have you ever wondered why some days you're so energized that whipping through actions in your business as a breeze and others, you feel like it just want to go back to bed, pull the covers over and totally retreat from the world.

Maybe there are weeks where everything feels easier and the abundance is flowing while others feel like you're smashing your head on a brick wall. And resistance seems to roll leading to a ton of trash talk going on in your head. If you're anything like me and most entrepreneurs, you've tried to just push through and keep hustling.

Even when your mind, body and soul are crying out for rest, because that's what we've been taught. We need to do to be successful. Go, go, go 24 seven. What if I told you it doesn't have to be that way. Imagine just for a moment that you could create an abundant profitable business without living on the edge of exhaustion and burnout.

What if you could totally enjoy your business in a state of joy, ease and flow? What if you could find that healthy balance and business life and self without the guilt of not being on all the time while using the power and energy of the lunar cycles, you can, when you work with the cycles of the moon, you create more flow and ease. There's just surviving and more thriving. Knowing when to floor, the gas pedal and when to hit the brake, you'll no longer need to push or force your way forward.

Instead, you can switch into receiving mode, flowing with the natural energies of the moon. You don't always have to be on in order to be successful and get big things done. In fact, it's not natural or healthy and could even be a barrier to the ultimate success of your business.

So I want to introduce you to moon circle magic in this vibration, raising monthly membership community, I'm bringing you energetic, spiritual, and practical ways. Mixing the rule with the do that allows you to have a business and or life that you truly enjoy and totally reflects who you are using the moon's phases and energy. I've created a safe and supportive space that allows you full permission to find you and your personal fulfillment. Self-love abundance confidence, and to connect with your intuition.

So you learn to lead from your soul and have the passionate profitable business you want. The link to this is in the show notes, or you can visit my [email protected]

 

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